On Courtship
The current climate of American courtship is irresistible. It has an ambiance of sweet romance and devlish pleasure. Getting to know and growing to love your partner is, for true lovers, a passionate experience of intimacy. Marriage is a sacred covenant in which God forges manifold blessings for compatible mates. Yet, women become objects and men are made beastly.
The American notion of courtship is, in reality, defunct. In this great society, marked by freedom and opportunity, the masses have been enslaved. To what? Self. We are experiencing a form of slavery far more detrimental and pernicious than that which pitted brother against brother in the War Between the States. For the slavery of early America was a mistaken sense of ownership; the slavery of today's America is total self-absorption. Dehumanization is sad when it takes the form of one not valuing the other, but it is intensely more evil when it occurs in the self-deification of the one.
Genuine courtship is a chance to grow in virtue and fall in love. The order of these is important. In order to be successful, we must find a partner worth our admiration and from whom we can learn virtues. After such an one is found, it is then that we may begin to love. How can you really love what you did not first admire? Certainly, it is easy to be infatuated at a single glance. But is that love? Quid est caritas? Our love on earth is a shadow of God's love, the love in heaven. True love is never a passionate experience of self. It is, rather, a deepening of the self in appreciation for the other.
What mean I by all this? Courtship should not be a casual thing. We cheapen our sense of love when we date for recreation. Take the very term, "recreational dating." Does it seem sensible to make sport of entering into a human relationship? Sleezy romance might find a home in dating for sport, but intimate love can be had only at the cost of self-sacrifice.
What has happened in this last century to the idea of a young man cordially proposing a relationship to a lady friend? Are we too mature? Too modern? Too informal? Or are we egocentric? Solid love is other-centered.
What has happened in this last century to the idea that courtship is a preparation for a potential marriage? When did dating lose its ultimate significance? What is the point of having a boyfriend or girlfriend if the end goal isn't to consider marriage? Why would you want to "fall in love" with someone you never intended to marry? Why are children dating? In grade school? Fourth and fifth grade! Where does the joke stop?!
Allowing children to date is much worse than stupid. It is veritable evil. That's right, I said it. It's evil. By "children," I mean to include certainly all grammar school students and most high school students, with select discrimination on the basis of truly profound maturity.
It is parents' chief responsibility to ensure the healthy formation and education of their children. (Incidentally, child formation & education are intrinsically united--distinct, but not separate). We distort our children's concept of love when we separate, divorce, or propose dating as a game. Let's stress courtship, instead.
Courtship is respect for the other sex. Courtship recognizes human worth in all men. It is a common union--a communion--of two persons in one spirit in the hope of one day joining as one flesh.
The American notion of courtship is, in reality, defunct. In this great society, marked by freedom and opportunity, the masses have been enslaved. To what? Self. We are experiencing a form of slavery far more detrimental and pernicious than that which pitted brother against brother in the War Between the States. For the slavery of early America was a mistaken sense of ownership; the slavery of today's America is total self-absorption. Dehumanization is sad when it takes the form of one not valuing the other, but it is intensely more evil when it occurs in the self-deification of the one.
Genuine courtship is a chance to grow in virtue and fall in love. The order of these is important. In order to be successful, we must find a partner worth our admiration and from whom we can learn virtues. After such an one is found, it is then that we may begin to love. How can you really love what you did not first admire? Certainly, it is easy to be infatuated at a single glance. But is that love? Quid est caritas? Our love on earth is a shadow of God's love, the love in heaven. True love is never a passionate experience of self. It is, rather, a deepening of the self in appreciation for the other.
What mean I by all this? Courtship should not be a casual thing. We cheapen our sense of love when we date for recreation. Take the very term, "recreational dating." Does it seem sensible to make sport of entering into a human relationship? Sleezy romance might find a home in dating for sport, but intimate love can be had only at the cost of self-sacrifice.
What has happened in this last century to the idea of a young man cordially proposing a relationship to a lady friend? Are we too mature? Too modern? Too informal? Or are we egocentric? Solid love is other-centered.
What has happened in this last century to the idea that courtship is a preparation for a potential marriage? When did dating lose its ultimate significance? What is the point of having a boyfriend or girlfriend if the end goal isn't to consider marriage? Why would you want to "fall in love" with someone you never intended to marry? Why are children dating? In grade school? Fourth and fifth grade! Where does the joke stop?!
Allowing children to date is much worse than stupid. It is veritable evil. That's right, I said it. It's evil. By "children," I mean to include certainly all grammar school students and most high school students, with select discrimination on the basis of truly profound maturity.
It is parents' chief responsibility to ensure the healthy formation and education of their children. (Incidentally, child formation & education are intrinsically united--distinct, but not separate). We distort our children's concept of love when we separate, divorce, or propose dating as a game. Let's stress courtship, instead.
Courtship is respect for the other sex. Courtship recognizes human worth in all men. It is a common union--a communion--of two persons in one spirit in the hope of one day joining as one flesh.
posted by Friguy @ Thursday, April 20, 2006
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